I have been in a struggle most of my life, when I was in high school, I found that I was interested in men, , and this both confused and kinda scared me, I was between 15 to 17, I buried this deep down and denied it, I carried on a 3 year online relationship with a man when I was 18 or so, and I still denied this truth, over the years, I have chatted with multiple men, all the while denying my sexuality, and that brings us to recent events, I looked back on my life, and realized that after my mother died some years ago, around 12 years, right after she died or shortly after, I met a man online and we began a relationship, and he and I still t